Sad day for Dad

This morning while we were lazing around in bed, Matthew called Kaes in to "talk and snuggle and visit" with him.

Kaes's response: "Jonathon can do that job."

attitude

Prologue:

Tuesday morning Duncan was a bit crabby while I was taking him to school. I was trying to tease him out of it, which sometimes works, but not Tuesday. I finally asked him if he was having an attitude with me and he said, "Everybody has an attitude."

Tuesday afternoon:

A kid was pestering Duncan and his friend during recess. The kid was kicking them, and Duncan was trying to push him away with his elbow. Finally the kid left and the playground teacher came over to Duncan.

Playground teacher: I saw you kicking that boy.

Duncan: No you didn't.

PT: Yes, I did. You were kicking him.

D: Fine. Believe what you want to believe, but I wasn't kicking him.

PT: Are you having an attitude?

D: Yes.

PT: Do you want me to write you up?

D: Write me up if you want to, but I wasn't kicking him. He was kicking us.

PT: I'm going to go talk to the boy.

D: Go ahead.

At this point the playground teacher left. She did not write him up AND she did not go talk to the other boy.

When relating this story at home, yes, Duncan was mad that the playground teacher did not believe him. But you know what made him REALLY mad? The playground teacher didn't write him up, neither did she go talk to the other kid. She was useless, across the board. THAT is what he was the most upset about.

Sound familiar? If you have ever met my brother Aaron, then yes, it does, which is just thrilling for me. I love Aaron very much, but I already raised him once and I'm pretty sure I don't want to go through it again. He's all about attitude...

Footnote:

A couple weeks ago Duncan argued with an old lady who told him he couldn't play on her apartment complex's playground because he didn't live there. He told her people come on his yard all the time (which they don't) and it doesn't bother him (which it would if they did). I told him he can't argue with old ladies. He didn't believe me.

Questions you don't wanna ask

Last night Duncan was supposed to be in his room doing homework and Kaes was supposed to be in her room not bothering him. Kaes came downstairs with Duncan's water bottle. I talked to her for a minute, because I'm her mom and I do things like that sometimes.

Then Duncan yelled out, "Forty-two seconds!"

Kaes gave me a wild, panicked look, said, "I gotta go," and ran upstairs, clutching his filled water bottle in her arms.

What was that? Blackmail? Indentured servitude? Slavery?

These are all questions I'm not asking.

You reap what you sow

Today is garbage day, so last night the boys were supposed to go through the house and dump all the garbage. Technically, Duncan is supposed to do it all himself, but somehow dumping all the trash and putting in new liners is just too much for him, so I told him he could ask his brother for help and if Jonathon said yes, then he would be in luck. I was trying to get the kids in bed and went into my room for something. My trash can was lying on its side, there were some pieces of trash scattered on the floor around it, and the 'liner' was on the floor on the other side of my bed. Definitely not lining my trash can. I made a growly noise and went into the boys' room, where I saw that their trash hadn't even been dumped at all.

"Duncan!" I yelled. "You son of a-"

And I stopped, because it is wrong for parents to say such things about their children. I STOPPED! I did not complete the sentence.

Then Jonathon, who was the only other person in the room, said, "Well, he's your-"

And he stopped. He did not finish the sentence, but seriously, we all know where he was going.

He had the decency to blush at that point, which is a big deal because blushing could be considered a 'reaction' and Jonathon doesn't do those very often.

So what am I supposed to do? Not talk like that? I DIDN'T! I swallowed that last word like a chameleon taking down a fly. It did not escape. Apparently, however, the fact that flies have ever buzzed around my head is enough for my kids to know what they sound like when they hear them coming.