'the talk'

Today while walking Kaes to school she asked me if you could tell Lwcus was a boy by looking into his eyes (I think this came from preschool when she learned that male and female turtles have different eye colors--one is red and the other is something else). I told her no, that wouldn't work with Lwcus, so she asked me how you can tell. This is not the conversation I want to have first thing in the morning (8:50 is first thing in the morning around here) and I had a very quick internal debate. I could tell her you know he's a boy because he never brushes his hair, or he's always getting into things, or he takes off to go explore every chance he gets, but honestly, the same can be said of Kaes, so that wouldn't really work. So I decided to stick with the truth (at 8:50 in the morning, walking the child to school on a public sidewalk). Really, the answer is anatomical, so that's what I went with.

"You have to look at their belly. If they have a (insert correct term), they're a boy."

"What's a (insert slightly-mispronounced correct term)?" asked Kaes.

"It's where they go potty. If it's like your brothers, they're a boy. If it's like you, they're a girl." (Yes, my daughter has seen her brothers. One bathroom, no privacy, though I promise you we try.)

"Oh," she said, the light bulb audibly clicking on. "They have a thing they squirt. Sometimes they stand up to wet in the toilet and they don't make a mess. Girls can't do that, though. We would make a big mess."

Yes, we would.

I can't help but wonder what kind of conversations she will be having at school today. I'm kind of hoping she doesn't decide to share her new-found knowledge with her friends. Especially any of her boy friends. They probably already know.

The real irony is that Duncan is having his maturation program today. He's going to learn all about this stuff. Maybe I should take Kaes too. I'm sure she'll have lots of questions.